I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.

This past year things have been pretty tough on me. I've learned a lot about myself, others, love, loss, and life. It's been a very bitter-sweet experience. One thing that I have tried to do VERY differently this past year is only speak to people when it is appropriate to do so. I'm not going to go around wearing my emotions on my sleeve, and tell everyone what I am feeling. I have realized that knowing those personal things about me is not a right, but a privilege. So, when I say something to someone that is more than surface small talk, I would take that as a serious compliment because it doesn't happen very often. I used to be the person on the other end, believe it or not. I would try and get all the dirt on someone, expecting them to just trust me. I realized, though, that it was very rude and demanding of me. I ruined many relationships that way, one very important one in particular. Although I am upset that I learned a little too late, I am happy I even learned the lesson at all. Maybe I saved myself and others from any pain. Hopefully! But, I also have learned that if you keep the most special and deep emotions to yourself, and save them to tell to someone special, it will make that bond between you two even more deep. I think that's why I don't go around wearing my emotions on my sleeve, like I had up until a year ago.. Cause I learned that a deep relationship is worth more than a 1,000 small ones. Haha..I'm going off on a tangit here, I'll stop. Haha. I guess the moral of what I'm trying to get across is that if I say something to you, know that I have really thought about it before hand. I won't say something I don't mean, and everything I do or will say will be exactly what I intended it to. Reading into anything more than what I said will probably result in hurt feelings or something. So, just don't :)

Anyways....

I am going to have dinner with my grandma and momma tonight. I'm pretty stoked. My grandma means pretty much the whole world to me, and my mom too. They both are full of wisdom, and I think I could benefit a lot from their words of encouragement. Not to mention, they cook a great dinner every time! Haha. I love family probably more than any other thing in my life, no matter how dysfunctional it can be at times.

Off to give my grandma a huge hug. :) See ya!