What's up!?

Hey folks!
In typical Courtney fashion I totally forgot all about this blog and had to re set my password. I never thought this would be possible, but my short term memory has gotten worse lately. Insane. It's funny, EVERYTIME I am done writing a post I renew my commitment to blogging once again....and then forget about it like 10 minutes later. Maybe I should google ways to exercise my ability to remember things. Google ROCKS!

Also in typical Courtney fashion, I got the itch to do a new thing.... So I moved to florida!! My girlfriend, Lauren, graduated from nursing school and got her dream job working on the transplant unit at Tampa general hospital. You'd think picking up and moving halfway across the country (again), quitting your current job, leaving your sister and best friend, and the city that's become home would be tough but for me it really wasnt. In my previous post I promised myself I would no longer take for granted time. It's such a precious thing. The move to Florida, although hard, was a great decision. My time here is proving to be well spent, and is affording me the ability to really learn about myself and others. Years from now I can't and won't look back on these years and be unhappy. If it's true, and we only live once, why should I have to spend it pleasing people or things that don't make me happy? Why should I spend my time, money, and energy on school, for example, if it's not something that makes me happy? My family asks me all the time when I'm going to school and my response is always " as soon as I figure out what I WANT to do". I guess I don't blame my mom and family for being scared from the statement, because I've never realllllly WANTED to do anything other then things that really hold no significance In the big girl world. Aka listening to music, excersizing, food..
The few things I love really are just not realistic to peruse. I often wonder what gene I didn't get that has made it impossible for me to set goals.

Lauren rocks! She is everything I'm not and everything I could ever want to be. She understands and accepts me for who I am and puts up with my indecisiveness more than anyone ever has or probably ever will. She came into my life at a time I was uncertain I could ever feel for anyone or anything ever again. I was so numb to life before her, and since her I have become so alive. She makes me feel like I am capable of anything, and she supports me in everything. I am so lucky to be apart of her life. The places she will go in life are unreal. I'm grateful for her, always. I love her and I know she loves me. She is all I really need.

The past few months have been full of learning, Lauren, and moving. Hopefully the next few will be full of blogging (wishful thinking?), and becoming more acquainted with life here in Tampa.

Until next time!

HOLA!

Again, I have failed to make regular updates on this. Sigh.....I try!
I have been keeping fairly busy, believe it or not. The bank I work for has been going through some changes which means more sass from the customers, which in turn makes me want to not talk to anyone or anything once I get home.
I can't believe it is almost March! March will mark my one year here in Kansas. It's hard to go a week without thinking "wow, time seriously does fly" ...and it is so so true. It seems like a week ago that I drove my exploder out to Kansas with no real vision other than to just get the hell out of California. It wasn't until a few months ago when I actually took a step back and looked at what I was doing, and realized I wasn't taking advantage of everything this life, this world, has to offer. I know, i know...cheesy! It sounds like something that my mom or grandma has told me at some point! As with almost everything, there words of wisdom have turned out to be very true. I guess youth made me oh so very blind to the realities of such things like time, and how precious it really it is.

Have you ever thought, REALLLLLLYYY thought, about how EVERYTHING came to be? This question has been consuming most of my thoughts lately. One could say "It's God and Jesus and Christ"... but that still leaves so many questions. I could ask..well, how did they come to be?.. "Just have faith" would probably be the response. I won't settle with that, I just cant. Don't get me wrong, I am not discounting the existence of a God, in fact I am well aware that there HAS TO BE something that created this all. But if there is a God I am sure he or she would not want me (or anyone for that matter) to just blindly accept anything anyone would say. Past experiences have shown me that to have faith in anything, not just in a higher being, one must first ask questions. All of the people through history that have had a deep deep testimony of all these questions I ask have come to this knowledge by simply asking a question or two. I think if questions weren't asked we would still be running around in the dark without spears. So, this year my new years resolution is to respect time, and to ask as many questions as I want.


In other exciting news since my last update...I bought a new car! It is a 2010 Mazda 3. It is pretty spiffy. My explorer, as much as I loved her, was not going to be very safe in the winter time. The heater no longer worked, my seatbelt had broken, the windshield wipers were pretty useless...the list goes on and on. I loved my explorer...but I also love my own life..so poor dora had to go. Also, I got a sweet tattoo. It is on my right shoulder blade and is of a rad peacock feather with some paisley involved. Me and my sister both got one to commemorate our love for one another. I love my sister, she rocks.

Cat vomited and now I no longer have cable.

Time flies FAST not only when you're busy all the time, BUT also when you are doing a whole lot of nothing! I think it's been like a half a year since I last updated this thing. I told you in the beginning though that i most likely would forget all about this! And lookey here...I did!
I am going to try and redeem myself from this blog suicide of sorts, so please forgive me. Wait, do I even need to apologize because I seriously even doubt anyone even reads this! If there is a slight chance of someone who does this read this, though, I am speaking to you.
Anyways, back to what I was saying. I haven't blogged in awhile, and I have absolutely no excuse other than I just have completely forgot this website even existed. Once I did remember I had to jump through like 25 different hoops to recover my forgotten username and password that I (SURPRISE SURPRISE..?) forgot! But now that I'm here updating the non existent readers of this fiasco, I kind of miss blogging. I guess I enjoy typing to myself!


So, to explain the title of this post-
I was watching my nephew today, which was awesome! I love that kid! AnYways, back to what I was saying... Me and Preston were enjoying an episode of the Office and I look over and my cat is laying on the cable box. Now, I know this probably doesn't seem out of the ordinary but let me explain... A little background on my cat...it is a DOPE! The kitty prefers to sleep on it for warmth. Also, my cat has a history of vomiting. Okay...so we were sitting there and I look away and then when i look back my tv has turned off. Initially I assume some other animal of mine has hit the remote. But soon I come to look closer and I see vomit all over my dang cable box. I will spare you the dirty details but lets just say...my cable box is completely fried! BULLOCKS!
I was not about to do nothing the rest of the day so I decide to pick up on my rusty video game skills, which turned out to be VERY rusty! I forgot how much i love video games until today. I also forgot how short of a temper I have with them as well! I swear, I really think sometimes they make it nearly impossible to beat these things. I beat 3 levels in a span of like 3-4 hours. HAHA! GOOD TIMES! So, I am too sure how to feel about my cat puking on my cable box after all... pros: got to play a rad game instead. con: Preston no longer can watch Yo Gabba Gabba or Alvin and the Chipmunks in the morning, which is actually REALLY sad!

All this blogging is making me feel extra tired.

Having one of those days...

UGH. Kansas has the most bi-polar weather I've ever seen. Two days ago it is as sunny as can be, and i want to just go running through fields of flowers, and today there is rain the size of cows, thunder that shakes the house, and lightning that lights up the crazy dark sky. I am from sunny california so this new weather is something completely new to me. All I know is it is going to take some getting used to. Is it just me, or are rainy days just an invitation from mother nature to be lazy? I think so!
I will say that the one thing rain does do is makes me sleep a lot better. Can't complain too much cause that is a huge benefit- good sleep. :) Sometimes I wish I could go back into time and take back all the times I didn't want to take a nap when I was younger.


I didn't mention this in my last post but I got my nose pierced!
It's sort of a big deal to me because for the last two and a half years I have been apart of something that looks down on stuff like this so I had to really ask myself if I wanted what I thought I had the past couple of years. After a lot of thinking and pondering I've finally accepted that I don't need anything other than myself to be happy. No need for a group of people to tell me what I need to do (or not do). Letting go of that nonsense has really made me a whole lot happier, and I am enjoying my life a lot better now. So, with that said....I celebrated with a piercing and some other fun stuff :)

I think everyone should go try a banana split from Ben and Jerry's. It packs like calories enough for several days... but just try not to think about it. I treat myself to one once a month....Let me know what you think of it if you ever try one. Random thought, I know. Just thought I would share the love!!

Courtney Rae

Wow. It's been forever since I updated this thing. It's crazy how fast time flies when you are engaged in a productive (or not so productive) task almost every second of the day. It's been almost two months since I made the decision to move to Kansas, and so far it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made, really. As cheesy as it may sound, I don't think I have ever felt so confident and happy in what I am doing and the the direction I am headed in a very long time. Of course I miss my grandma and close friends.. but hey...distance just makes the heart grow fonder.
I am going to be getting back into the swing of school and such in the fall, and I'm pretty stoked for it. I have been out of school for a year now and I feel like it is the best thing I could have done. in the year I have been out I have really learned so much about myself, and what I want to do with my life. I have a purpose, a method to my madness. Now that I think I know what I want, hopefully I will save some of my hard earned money, and my valuable time. I say "think" because, hey, you never know when things in your life may change. Hopefully I can adjust to change as it comes into my life, because I know it is inevitable. I've shunned change my whole life because I like feeling comfortable. But I am beginning to see that fear of change because you might not be comfortable is really just hindering you from possibly the best opportunity you could ever have... and is ultimately just laziness. So, I'm really trying to embrace any sort of change that this life has to throw at me.

Hmm..what else has happened since I last blogged? Nothing too extravagant, really. I talked to my mom on the phone after almost two months of not talking. It felt cool to talk to her, and to hear her voice. She is my mother and I'm sure that bond will always be there... so I'm fine talking to her. Like I said earlier, distance does make the heart grow fonder. Maybe some relationships are meant to be long distance? Haha.

Well, I hate to cut this post so short but I have American Idol to watch. So, until next time....ADIOS!!

A little update on the happenings of my dysfunctional life...

GREETINGS!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just writing to myself, and all my rambling is bouncing around in cyberspace for no reason. Hmm..Oh well. It wouldn't matter either way I guess because I enjoy writing...a little.
Since the last time I blogged a lot has been happening here in Kansas. Most importantly, I got a job! I am super stoked about this job because it is something I have been wanting to do for a long time, and is something that will help me excel in my major, business and accounting. So, I guess it isn't just a job...it is a possible career! We shall see, we shall see. Other than finding a job, I have just been spending some good quality time with my family..which is almost just as important as finding a job. :) It's funny how age and maturity really change close family relationships. Me and my sister hated each others guts all through our high school years and now we are best friends. We are almost identical in our personalities now, which makes for a great friend...and an even better sister. Of coarse, we have our moments when we get pissed the other one is wearing the others clothes, but hey, that just comes with being sisters.. both with sweet clothes. Haha. My nephew is as cute as ever! He seems to be growing and learning more each and every day, it's incredible to watch! Sometimes friends and family say I'm very cold, and don't put up with peoples BS very much so I come off very unemotional/heartless.... and it's kinda sad... but with my nephew I am just this whole other person. Like all my fears, walls, emotions (or lack of them) just fall. I've been told babies can do that to a person. I don't know much.. but I do know that there are two things that will always love you unconditionally and that is a baby and a dog. Hahaha. Maybe I'm wrong, but i believe that to be sooo true. So, if you ever want to see me in my emotional side, just get me around my dog and my nephew! Haha. :)

Besides finding a job and hanging out with family not much else is really happening. i'm having a fun time here in Kansas. Although, at some point I will have to get out of the comfort of my emotional bubble, and quit hanging out with JUST my family. I need friends my age, and a social life. I don't mind having friends at all... In fact, I enjoy it. But I just really dislike the whole "lets get to know you" process that comes along with finding new friends. Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just skip all the possible awkward situations to just having a fun comfortable time!!

On a very random note: I painted my nails orange today and I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Not only do they look hideous, they also add about 20 years to the age of my hands... So, take my advice and never paint your nails orange unless you wanna look like a fool.

After a 25 hour drive, I have arrived in KANSAS!

It's been awhile since my last post but it for very good reasons! I have been busy moving my life to Overland Park, Kansas! Can you believe it? It still is so surreal to me that I am actually here to live, and not just for a visit. I am trying to find a job out here and to just get settled. I am staying with my sister and her family for awhile until I can get my feet on the ground. I am so excited to start school again out here. Hopefully my sister will come back to school with me so we can do it together.

Th drive out to Kansas was fun but very very very long! We decided to take the safe boring route (through Arizona, new Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, and then straight into Kansas) instead of the exciting.not so safe one (Nevada, Utah, Colorado). We started around 12pm California time and just rove straight through until we arrived at our destination at 1:30pm Kansas time. So it took about 23 1/2 hours. Ha ha... Me and Joseph both barely made it. We were fighting the inevitable sleepiness that hit us just around flagstaff, Arizona. I slept maybe an hour the whole drive because i was so paranoid about dying and getting run over by a semi...so when it was my turn to drive once we hit Oklahoma, Joe had been driving for almost 12 hours straight! I wish I would've used that time to sleep because once I started driving I seriously began to fall asleep! It didn't help that Oklahoma is probably the most boring state and there was nothing interesting to look at to maybe help me get more excited and therefore more awake so I fell asleep AT THE WHEEL for a little over...oh....2 seconds...it was a good nap...ha..
I then realized that I really wanted to make it to Kansas alive so I woke Joe up to drive while I took a short nap. I'm writing this blog now, so I'm sure you know what happened... we made it alive! So, I am very grateful for that. I am also very excited that my car made it the whole trip without a problem. Let's hope it stays that way!

Seeing my sister, nephew, brother in law, and dog again is awesome. I couldn't be happier. :) I plan on staying in Kansas for a very long time. :D